Copy & Paste
by DrainThisDisease
Summary: It was like Dan had been glued into the picture, just as Phil got ripped out. AmazingPhil & Danisnotonfire fanfic.
1. Never Come Undone

Phil had never felt so alone.

No other time in his life had ever felt so lonely compared to right now.

He was so used to Dan's presence that every second without him made him less emotionally stable.

Phil didn't know how to deal with it all. He felt overwhelmed and even during this short time without Dan, he felt lost.

Lost in a world where it seemed like Dan was cut out and thrown away by the people surrounding him.

Lost in a world Phil no longer wanted to be in.

. . .

It was obvious that Phil was depressed.

He stopped making YouTube videos months ago.

He had to move back in with his parents because he could no longer pay rent.

He wouldn't eat unless he was forced to.

He spent most of his time sleeping or crying.

He had pushed away all his other friends.

Whenever someone mentioned Dan's name he would break down.

Phil's family thought he was acting like a five year old girl, not a twenty-five year old man.

Even the thought of that made him overly emotional.

Yes, Phil had been apart from Dan before. Just never like this.

. . .

There is a big difference between packing up your things and moving away, and just leaving.

For example, Dan just _left_.

Just like that.

Dan never had felt as selfish as he currently did.

All his stuff probably sat surrounding Phil at their old shared flat.

Or maybe Phil had thrown it away.

Either way he didn't have it with him.

But there was one thing Dan knew Phil couldn't get rid of.

The many memories they shared between them.

Those memories he couldn't bear to throw away.

Dan hated the fact he had left Phil alone, giving him no warning.

Typical Dan just needed time away, but just not a night or so.

Typical Dan didn't even know how long he will be gone for.

. . .

Phil had always been organized. No matter what, he had a plan.

Phil wasn't planned for this though.

Maybe if he had been given notice he wouldn't be like this.

But he didn't and he suddenly felt like an unwanted toy.

Once played with but now forgotten.

It was a feeling Phil was definitely unfamiliar with.

Dan, on the other hand, hardly ever planned anything.

He just went with what ever he felt was right at the time.

Usually he just did what Phil did, trailing behind him like a lost puppy.

He liked it that way.

But in a spur of the moment decision, Dan decided to leave.

Was it a decision Dan was regretting?

Of course it was.

Because he was no longer the stray puppy.

He was somewhat the leader of the pack.

. . .

Dan felt like he had been stuck in a whole new _world_.

A world he wasn't sure he was comfortable in.

All the familiar things were long left behind.

But Dan didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing.

He was becoming his own person. Yet he now felt like a part of him was missing.

Dan knew that part was _Phil_.

He knew he needed to have him in his life.

. . .

Phil was _over_ it all.

He no longer cared when Dan was returning.

He no longer wanted Dan back.

He no longer had the will to live.

Phil just wanted to not feel anything.

Phil longed to be forever _numb_.

_Death_ seemed like the easiest way for that to happen.

He watched the water below him toss and turn like his stomach.

The only thing keeping him from peace was a safety rail.

. . .

Dan was almost home and it felt good.

He almost felt _complete_.

The familiar bridge near the flat brought a smile to his face.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a man climb over the safety rail on the bridge.

Dan watched the man jump off the bridge.

The man that reminded him of Phil.

The man that was Phil.

_It was like Dan had been glued into the picture, just as Phil got ripped out. _

. . .


	2. Let Live

_A/N: Originally this was going to be a one-shot, but I had the idea for a sequel, but then I had another idea so this is going to be a three-shot probably (I can't promise that). Okay lets begin part two._

. . .

**Copy + Paste – Part Two:**_Let Live_

. . .

Dan switches on the camera.

Then he turns it off.

He knows what he wants to say but the words don't come out.

So he decides to keep them bottled up along with his emotions.

After Phil's death Dan's life changed quite a lot.

He had to move in with PJ.

He was caught in a downward spiral of depression.

His YouTube account became inactive, which left him earning no money.

And most of all, he no longer had his best friend.

The funeral was one of the hardest days of Dan's life.

Every speech was just someone going on about how much they would miss Phil.

Every rose placed on the casket was just from another sorry family friend.

Every little thing felt insignificant to Dan.

Everyone seemed to apologize to Dan about Phil's death.

Little to their knowledge the cause of death was _Dan_.

And that was the thing killing Dan the most.

. . .

Each day Phil was gone made it harder for Dan to go on.

He had no-one to joke around with anymore.

He had PJ, Chris and some of his other friends, but it just wasn't the same.

They just weren't _Phil_.

None of them got him like Phil did.

Instead, they just tried to understand how Dan worked.

All they did was give advice and attempt to comfort him.

None of it worked; instead it made Dan even more depressed that Phil couldn't save him.

It made him even more _aware_ that Phil killed himself because of him.

. . .

PJ knew that Dan wasn't okay.

He was worried and scared he would lose Dan as well as Phil.

So he forced Dan to go see a psychiatrist.

He didn't care whether or not Dan liked the idea, but he was going to go.

Even if that meant that he had to drag Dan in.

But surprisingly Dan was somewhat willing.

He didn't fight against the idea.

He didn't even complain.

Dan just agreed and that's how he ended up at the psychiatrist.

. . .

"_You're not depressed; you're just mourning the death of your friend. It's just how you cope, Daniel. You'll be back to normal soon."_

Those were the exact words of the psychiatrist.

And Dan _wished_ that was true.

But he knew it was something more.

It was just like a raincloud that lurked over him, which rained on every feeling of hope and happiness he had.

And he just couldn't shake it.

_Dan's emotions were like a collage of black and white fading photos, their meaning starting to disappear and going blank._

. . .


	3. Move Along

As time went on, Dan's life stayed still.

There was no movement, no progress.

All that was left was a broken man with broken dreams, never to be fulfilled.

And he didn't mind that.

It meant no standards, no worries.

And Dan was used to live letting him down.

. . .

As much as Dan wanted time to stop, it can't.

Which meant everything around him was changing whilst he didn't.

Dan's comforting, familiar settings were replaced with ones he was wary of.

Such as where he lived.

PJ had found a girlfriend and had moved in with her.

Which meant Dan was obliged to leave as well.

Dan had found himself living back on his parents couch, living a life no different from before.

. . .

There came a time where Dan knew he had to move on.

He was ready or prepared, but he knew he had to.

Phil was gone and he wasn't coming back and Dan had started to come to terms with it.

For the first time in almost a year, Dan had started to find hope again.

. . .

Firstly, Dan found a flat.

A low maintenance, one bedroom flat, which didn't feel like home to Dan.

Dan's home was still wherever Phil was, but he knew that he would never return there.

This would be the closest he would probably get in awhile.

Secondly, Dan found a job.

It was only at Starbucks and he didn't really enjoy but it made him enough to live on.

And thirdly, Dan made a friend.

. . .

Dan happened to be working later than usual one night.

He had only been working two weeks or so and he still had no clue to make coffee properly.

The place was mostly empty except for him and a serious-business type woman, sipping on her coffee whilst working on her laptop.

Dan still wasn't used to working and socializing.

He had thrown himself in the deep end when he should still be treading water.

It wasn't smart and he regretted it, but it was too late to turn back.

He started to clean up to close the shop up when a girl around his age walked in.

Somehow, her order turned into a conversation with Dan, and soon enough a acquaintanceship was formed.

Which lead Dan to learn her name (Melissa).

Which provoked her to get Dan's number.

Which they then ended up at some bar a week later.

And then Dan and Melissa became friends.

. . .

Steadily, Dan's life got back on track.

The dark cloud above his head slowly went away, sometimes still lurking.

Dan started making YouTube videos again.

Melissa became Dan's closet friends and without either of their consent, a romantic relationship began.

And they ended up married.

Dan soon enough moved out of the shitty flat and moved into a house with Melissa and had two kids.

But no matter what happened to Dan, Phil was never forgotten.

To be honest, Dan still thought about him all the time, probably a lot more than he should.

_Dan's side of the picture had been restored, where as you can only faintly see what was left of Phil Lester._

_And it still broke Dan's heart to know that._


End file.
